I was encouraged to to start writing more like I used to in high school. I have friends who blog, so I figured I would give this a shot. This is more for me than it is for any of you that may read this. It's the best way for me to get all of my thoughts out and feel good about doing so.
A lot has been on my mind lately thanks to school, not working much because of school (being broke), and my relationship with my boyfriend, all of which I'm not in total control over, which sometimes freaks me out. I asked my boyfriend one day if he would like to control everything that happens in his life and he said no. This came as a total shock to me. Who wouldn't want to control everything in their life?! I mean, that is what we as humans are good at... trying to take control and wanting our way. The funny thing about control is that it also means taking responsibility, and we DON'T like responsibilities. So we seemed to be screwed either way.
I recently started my first block (which is basically just your first semester of your major classes) and that requires me to student teach 2 days a week (Tuesday and Thursday). The first day I went home exhausted and even cried the next morning because I was so tired. My first block has required me to be up by no later than 7 o'clock Monday thru Thursday, if not earlier than that. I have not really slept in for about a year now, but when I have 8 hour school and work days (without a nap), I am dog tired by the end of the day. So, the past few weeks have been a little rough on my body and my mind. I have student taught before/observed before in high school so I thought I had an idea as to what I was getting into; however the education system has certainly changed since then. There are a lot of behavioral issues at the school I am student teaching at (which will remain nameless due to legality terms). At first it really made me think if education was the right place for me because I wasn't sure if I could handle it. After talking to a few people and the support from my family I realized that I cannot let one class ruin my goals and dreams of becoming a teacher. I know people think that it is absurd to go into education right now, but honestly those people just need to keep their opinions to themselves. The reason they make students student teach and observe is to weed out the ones who cannot handle it. If you're an education major and you're in your first block and you end your first block not sure if teaching was/is right for you then you have decision making issues you might want to look into. Even though I am only going 2 days a week that is a HUGE taste as how (or how not) to run a classroom. So, don't tell me I don't need to be a teacher. I will make that decision on my own.
I just need a lot of support and encouragement right now. I cannot remember a time in my life that I needed it more than I do now. I don't need to be torn down and ridiculed for what my goals in life are. Everyone has their own aspirations, some may not like mine and I may not like others but would I ever say, "You shouldn't do....." or "You don't need to be a...."? Hell no. I know how it feels to have people tell you not to do what you've always wanted to do and it sucks. You want to look at them and say, "Well, if you're telling me NOT to do it then why did you DO it?" It is even better when the person who is telling you what to/what not to do has NEVER actually done it themselves. Like, really? Shut the hell up. EVERY job has it's pros and cons. NO career is perfect and EVERY career will bring a bad day or two. Yours might make more than mine will one day but do I care? No. Money does not buy happiness.
There is a saying that says, "Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life."
