Our story

I wish I could say that Kyle and I have a super romantic story as to how we met and started dating but, we don't. People always ask me how we met, and I typically say, "mutual friends." However, Kyle actually remembers when he first met me. I believe it was the summer before I turned 19. I was hanging out with my former youth minister, Ronda, her husband, Nick, and several of our church buddies. We met up with a handful of folks to play at the sand volleyball court in Carrollton. Kyle and I had our former girlfriend/boyfriend with us, which is probably why I don't remember meeting Kyle that specific day. He said he remembers me wearing Nike workout shorts, a t-shirt, and I had my hair in a pony tail, and he and Ronda's husband, Nick practically picked on me the entire time (shocker!). Shortly after that period in our lives, we both ended said former relationships and kind of took a break from dating altogether.

A few months had passed and I was hanging out at Ronda's house when Kyle showed up after he got off work. I remember him being in his Orkin Pest Control work attire and thinking how cute he was. He sat on the couch opposite from me and we just hung out, talked, and he picked on me some more. I think Ronda felt a flirtatious vibe happening between Kyle and I so, she immediately started trying to play matchmaker. I had a feeling she was up to something, because as soon as she would send a text, his phone would go off. I think she text Kyle and said something along the lines of, "So what do you think about Rachel?" I remember him smiling and saying, "Ohhhh, boy." He told her he still just wasn't ready for a relationship, and understandably so. Looking back, I'm glad he wasn't because, little did I know, I needed some time for myself as well.

I made a hair appointment a few weeks later with a stylist some friends had recommended. I was sitting in her chair chatting and having good conversation when she asked me if I was single. I told her that I was, and she told me she thought I would be perfect for her nephew. I asked what his name was and she said, "Kyle Marshall." I nearly fell out of the chair. I told her that I knew who he was and that Ronda (also one of her clients) had already attempted to set us up. She said, "Well, I'm going to get your number and give it to him and tell him to call you, because y'all would be adorable." So, I wrote down my number with a little smiley face to the side and handed it to Patty...

I never heard anything from him...

Fast forward to a couple of months later... I met up at one of my girlfriends' apartments and she had some friends over I had never met before. She introduced us and we got to talking about mutual people that we knew. One of the girls, Christina, asked me who cut my hair, and I told her it was Patty at Jazi Salon. She said that she had been to her before, and that she knew her nephew really well. I smiled and said, "Kyle?" She gasped and said, "You know Kyle Marshall?!" I laughed and explained how I knew him, and that Patty had tried to play matchmaker, but I had never heard from him. She said, "Oh, girl, here, I've got his number. You should just text him yourself!" I was a little hesitant, because I didn't want to seem desperate, buuuuut, I had nothing to lose, except maybe a little dignity and pride.

My text read, "Hey stranger... it's Rachel." I believe his text back said, "Hey, whats up?"

What's up?! I wanted to say. "Oh, y'know, just been waiting for you to text me for months now." But, I didn't. I explained I was hanging out with one of his friends, and that's how I got his number. We text back and forth for a bit, and through that weekend, and planned to see a movie together a few days later.

I cannot remember what movie we had planned to see, but it was sold out by the time we got to the ticket counter, so we settled for Toy Story 3 3D. Had I known that Andy would give his toys away in the end, I would have suggested something else. I had to lift those stupid 3D glasses to wipe my tears away. When the movie was over, we got out to the parking lot and I expected for Kyle to ask if I wanted to grab a bite to eat (it was like 5-6pm at this point).

NOPE. We walked together for about 10 steps and he says, "Welp...see ya later!" and makes a B line for his truck.

I'm cracking up typing this because I remember walking to my car, getting in and just sitting there in shock that this guy just dipped out that quickly. I thought, "Is it because I cried? What the heck?" So, I basically told myself not to contact him again since he didn't seem very interested in me. The next day I get a text from him and he's acting like everything is totally fine. I'm still not entirely sure why he acted so sketchy after the movie but, I think it had to do with him just being hesitant to get back into a relationship again.

That week we met up for Mexican food probably 3 times. The Lazy Donkey is a special place for us. I still remember the first table we sat at. Shortly after our occasional dinners, I brought him home to meet my mom, and she seemed to like him, though she did say he had a crappy handshake. (She would judge my potential love interests based off a firm or limp handshake.) I guess the Marine Corps taught him something because his handshake is anything but limp now.

It was pretty much all downhill from there. We officially became boyfriend and girlfriend on August 11, 2010 and we said those 3 magical words 2 weeks later. At that time, I thought everything was happening fast, but looking back now, I think we both knew sitting in the Ivey's living room that we would date at some point, but it just couldn't be now. It was such a smart decision on our part, because wounds needed to be healed before opening our hearts to a new person.

I am eternally grateful that those "mutual friends" led Kyle and I to each other. I wouldn't be the same without him, and I hope/think he would say the same about me. We compliment each other well. He balances out my impulsive and crazy antics, and I balance out his hard, tough guy exterior. We joke all the time that there is no way we could find another husband and wife to put up with us. We love, even when we want to karate kick one another in the face. And, as harsh as that sounds, it's the truth. We piss each other off a lot - it's just who we are. But, there is also no body else that would, no questions asked, lay down their life for me (besides Jesus, duh). Kyle will go to lengths to make sure I am taken care of and loved, and that's what matters most to me. Not flowers, candy, jewelry, or any other gift people buy on Valentine's Day (though, if that's your thing go for it!). I know he loves me because he shows it every single day. Whether it's doing "handyman" stuff around the house, scratching my back while we're laying on the couch, asking me to ride to Home Depot with him just so he can spend some extra time with me, or sending me chocolate covered strawberries (thanks, babe!). He makes me feel so loved and special all the time.

So, we don't need a romantic love story of how we met. It wasn't love at first sight. There weren't roses on the first date. But, there was endless laughter, security and comfort, and so much love waiting to be given. Thankful I have a forever Valentine that makes life so joyful.

Our first picture we ever took back in August 2010.

Small update & Youtube Thoughts

Hey, hey party people! It has been a super long time since I last wrote - I feel like I say that every time I begin a blog post. Seems to be a reoccurring theme.

Life is going good for Kyle and I. Nothing new to really report. We're about 10 months away from his EAS (end of active service) and we're pretty excited for what the next year has in store for us! He started taking some core classes at the community college that's about 15 minutes away from where we live in California. He plans to take summer and fall classes as well just to get ahead of the game. I'm sort of in limbo with my job - just waiting to hear back from the local school district (all my teacher friends know how that can be).

So, I've been contemplating what to do with my free time. I typically catch up on my shows on DVR, hang out with Drake, cook (A LOT, which I love), exercising (which I need to make more time for), laundry, clean the house, etc. But, none of that brings me joy, other than my Drake time...and my shows...and napping occasionally.

Ok, so a lot of that brings me joy. Whatever.

When I've done all of the above, I usually find myself on Youtube watching different channels that typically range from makeup and beauty, hair, working out, spirituality, comedy, etc. And I thought, that seems really cool to make all of these videos and have people get tips or tricks from you, or get a good laugh, and/or just positively take something away from watching you and your life. That sounds like fun!

Now, don't get me wrong - I know there is a ton of work that goes into those videos. The editing, lighting, making sure the sound is right, the background music is good, and let's not forget, the dreadful internet trolls that would light Mother Teresa up if she were alive and had her own Youtube channel. Plus, the expensive equipment needed to make these videos is outrageous.

I know making a good quality video that viewers will enjoy is easier said than done. But, I'm willing to give it a go, depending on what you guys think...?

My good friend is going to let me borrow her camera, and I've got a Macbook Pro that I can use to edit the videos, which will likely take me 20 years to figure out... but hey, that's what Youtube is for! 🤣

I've made a list of topics I thought would be a good start - a basic q&a (I'd likely put the post on Facebook and let you guys ask questions, and I'd answer them in a video), my makeup routine, how I style my hair, our every day life, and/or California living, military spouse info, spirituality, etc.

I'm not sure I'm really that interesting - we live a pretty average life in the Southern California desert, and I absolutely loath the sound of my own voice...but, I've had a few folks give me the thumbs up and tell me to go for it.

If you have any interest in watching my southern self paint my face, make my hair look half-way decent, and check out our backyard that is the Mojave Desert, then let me know! 

xoxo

Blessings

"Blessed" is a commonly used word around the holidays. Especially Thanksgiving. Many families will share one thing they're especially thankful for - and "blessed" will likely be said in the midst of giving thanks.

"I'm so blessed to have a healthy family."
"I feel blessed to have a great job."
"I'm blessed my children are such great kids."

This is a personal opinion, but the main people I see using the word "blessed" are Christians. "The Lord blessed me with _____." I'm not saying that we shouldn't use the term - or that we are using it inappropriately. But, I think we sometimes get lost in the word. I think people automatically assume that our blessings are only found in "happy" things. They're in what brings us joy and happiness.

I don't think that's entirely true.

I believe God's sole blessing is found in relationship. Notice what those 3 "I'm blessed" statements above have in common? Relationships - family, children, coworkers/friends. That is what He gives us. But, rarely are relationships easy. I don't think I have a relationship with anyone that has always been easy - that I've never had a negative feeling toward. It's human nature though - and it's an every day struggle. To love people - and learn what it means to truly love in the process.

Don't get me wrong - I am certainly blessed with a husband who provides and works hard, and loves me and all of my flaws. I'm blessed to have an incredible family in Georgia that are all so supportive and loving. I'm blessed to have fantastic friends who would do anything for me at the drop of a hat. I am undoubtedly blessed.

But, I'm also blessed with the crap - the situations and circumstances that annoy me - but end up paying off in the long run. The lessons I learn, the mistakes that I make every day. The relationships that aren't easy, the ones that try and test us. The ones that help us grow as an individual. Seems weird to feel blessed by that, doesn't it? Anything, or anyone that makes us question our love for people, that forces us out of our warm, comfortable spot on the couch, and into the broken chaos that is relationships.... Those are blessings, too.

So, leave that security every now and then. Challenge yourself to love those that aren't easy to love. In a time of fear and disorder - find peace and harmony with others. Be on the search for the good in people. It's hard. It is so, so hard. But, when you find it - man, the comfort and peace you will receive. Find that blessing from Him. The One from whom all blessings flow.

Happy Thanksgiving from my family to yours.

#Blessed

Veteran's Day

To me, every day is Veteran's Day. There isn't a moment that passes where I'm not thankful to each and every person that has signed a blank check payable to the United States of America. Their service, whether for one enlistment, or for 20+ years is commendable. To me, they are the epitome of bravery.

The men and women who have willingly volunteered for the United States Armed Services had no clue what their future held for them. They didn't know if they'd see a combat deployment, or if they'd ever see a deployment at all. But, they were willing to risk that "if" for the greater good. For their brother or sister in arms, and for the people on the home land. They knew there was a possibility they would be put in treacherous territory, but they signed anyway.

Or, maybe they were drafted - which, to me, is worse. They had no say in whether they fought or not. "Fortunate Son" by Creedence Clearwater Revival comes to mind. John Fogerty wrote the song in his bunk one night sitting in the middle of Vietnam. He didn't want to fight. "It ain't me", he wrote. What a gritty, yet simple lyric. They weren't really fighting because they believed in or understood what they were doing. They were fighting to get back home...they were fighting so the brother next to them could also make it home. They were fighting to stay alive. They deserve just as much respect and dignity as those who volunteered.

The thing about Veteran's Day now is that it doesn't feel as honored as it once did. I feel like our country has lost a lot of respect for authority in general, and with that authority, comes our military. I'm not sure when it happened, or why it happened. Maybe parents stopped teaching their children respect? Maybe the advance of technology somehow played a part? Maybe celebrities had an influence? Or, maybe, it was a compilation of all three? Regardless of who or what is to blame, the lack of respect for our Veterans needs to end. Now. More emphasis needs to be placed on Veteran's Day - about teaching our children/teens how significant the day is and what they can do to honor it.

My husband receives thank you's from different people throughout the year. His response is typically along the lines of, "Thank you. It's an honor to serve for those who still appreciate it." For those who still appreciate it. Who wouldn't appreciate it? That is what I don't understand. Here's a thought: if it weren't for them, consider where we as a country would be. The safety, the structure, and the overall well being of the United States. I think people in general like to believe that our nation is invincible. That we're indestructible and nothing bad will ever happen. We're a naive country full of extremely entitled people. If it weren't for our Veterans and the sacrifices they have made, who knows how stable our nation would be?

I truly believe recognition is so important. Maybe the only thing standing between a suicidal Veteran is a simple, "Thank you so much for your service. It doesn't go unnoticed by me and my family."

You never, ever know what someone is battling. If there is anyone who deserves our full attention, respect, honor, and help, it's our Vets. OUR Vets. They took an oath to defend us. It's our turn to help them.

A hush-hush topic

The term "anxiety" makes people clinch up. It can be an uncomfortable topic for many. It is a mental illness/disorder. It is when your brain tells your body to freak out when there is no reason to. It is something people live with every day, and I feel like it needs to be brought to the surface a bit.

I cannot pin-point the moment I knew I was an anxious person. I think I always have been to some extent. The turning point came shortly after I began dating Kyle. It was a "something's gotta give" moment. I began taking medication and have been on it ever since.

The misconception behind anxiety (or even depression) is that we can control it, we just choose not to, or we take the easy way out with medication. I wish society understood how much of a blow that is to people with anxiety. I don't want to live this way - I don't want to take medication to ease my "condition". I have never met one person living with anxiety who enjoyed it. Anxiety and depression is not a choice.

Then there's, "But, if you have faith in the Lord and believe in the power of prayer then your anxiety will go away." Which is basically equivalent to saying, "Well, if only you had enough faith...." Having faith in God's ability to heal is obviously important - but to tell someone they shouldn't seek help, through either a counselor or medication, is the same as telling a person with a physical illness they shouldn't see a doctor. The only difference is you can see the symptoms of a person with a physical problem - mental illnesses are invisible.

I believe His word in Philippians 4 that says, ⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I also believe His word in Psalms 139 that says I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I was born imperfect in a fallen world. I was born with flaws, with traits that make me who I am, be that good or bad.

The thing about Philippians 4 is that it doesn't tell those living with anxiety that we shouldn't have it - it just means to not let it consume us - don't wallow in it. Asking God to help us and accepting His peace and reassurance when it comes, is key. Any believer of Christ knows that when you pray it isn't always automatically answered. In fact, it rarely ever is. 

I have felt the guilt that comes with anxiety. Being married to a man who has the mindset of "if you can't change it, don't worry about it" is difficult. Let me note, Kyle, I am not mad at you for thinking this way. That is what makes him who he is. He is able to get past things quicker and easier than I am. He doesn't get nervous or anxious about anything. And, I love him for that. It helps balance me out. However, it can be extremely hard to explain why, when you're wrestling and he pins you down and you can't move, it leads to a mini panic attack. Or, when loud noises bother you. Don't even get me started on crowds. Try being married to a Marine - having no clue of what your future holds, their safety, the absence you go through. You spend so much time over thinking things and you become so, so overwhelmed. I say things I don't mean, and feel so remorseful later when I realize how bad it sounded. I feel ashamed for reacting a certain way to something someone says or does that is totally harmless. I want to blame it on my anxiety, but think that just sounds like a cop out for not taking responsibility for the way I reacted. So, I apologize, even though I really don't feel like I have anything to be sorry for. 

See?! Anxiety literally plays mind games. It is so hard, folks. So, so hard. 

Anxiety is so real. 

But, so is Jesus. And so is His promise that He will always be with us. That is what I cling to, today and every day. 

Praying for those who live with anxiety on a daily basis. Declaring that the peace of the Lord will reign over their anxiety and will cover them during the tough days the enemy throws at us. Praying that these people will seek help, whether it's through a counselor, medication, a supportive church family, or family and friends. Hiding behind anxiety is so unhealthy and gives the enemy even more opportunities to use it against us, but understanding your condition and trying to get on top of it, before it gets on top of you will help so much in the days to come. 

Curve Ball

I really need to stop letting so much time go by before I write again. It's always such a therapeutic hobby for me.

Anyway...

Most of you have probably seen Bruce Jenner (or Caitlyn Jenner, however you wish to refer to him/her) on the cover of Vanity Fair. If you haven't, come out from your shell... just kidding. But, it has literally covered my Facebook and Instagram since it came out. 

(Side note: For the sake of respect for Bruce/Caitlyn, I'm going to use female pronouns to refer to her in this post.)

People have different opinions when it comes to the transgender lifestyle. I honestly don't really know how I even personally feel about it. Part of me accepts it, and the other part of me is really confused by it. If my parent revealed to me that they have never been content in their own skin and have always yearned to identify as the opposite sex it would really confuse me. But, it would also break my heart to know they have lived so many years secretly unhappy.

So, I'm pretty much torn on the whole thing.

The other thing that has covered my Facebook/Instagram all week has been the jokes of her.  Unfortunately, the majority of those jokes have come from "Christians". And, I really just don't understand...why spread so much hate for those who are different from us? This can honestly be spread across the board: different races, male vs. female, gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender. There has been a vast amount of hatred for so many "categories" of people that it's sickening. Answer this: how do you personally benefit from making fun of someone who chooses to live differently than you? I understand not agreeing with them - everyone is entitled to that. I get it. But, to go out of your way to tear someone down because you don't like how they're living - that, I don't get.  

What most Christians are misunderstanding is this: God loves Caitlyn Jenner just as much as he loves you and me. *Shocking, I know*

Now is the perfect time for the church to turn things around and show the world how hard we can show love. Love for others who fall into every category we can think of. It's hard - believe me, I'm yelling this to myself as I type this. But, try to see the good in others before picking out the bad. Basically: take the stones out of your pockets, folks.

Bruce Jenner through a curve ball into society and became Caitlyn Jenner. And, that scares the hell out of a lot of people. But, let's not resort to bullying someone for being different from what we know and are comfortable with.

Instead, love them. Pray for them. Show the world that the church can rally around anyone - any race, any sexual preference, any culture, any religious belief, and truly....

with open arms, with acceptance, with kindness and warmth.... love them the way Christ would.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 
1 John 4:7-8

Summer with the Marshall's

I haven't sat down to write anything in 5 months. A lot has happened since March. I'll sum up the last 5 months.

Kyle deployed to Cuba for 4 months on February 13th. During that time I was a nanny to precious twins. I gave me something to look forward to and it kept my mind busy. My parents visited me during a long weekend in March and that was a lot of fun! I felt like a real adult...showing them around the city of Virginia Beach and having guests in my home. I attended church every Sunday and really fell in love with the place. I truly look forward to going there each Sunday. Then, for Mother's Day I went home to Georgia - which was of course, awesome. I became really great friends with a couple of people and really began establishing friendships here in Virginia, which made time pass by a little quicker. 

Kyle returned home June 6th. It was a great reunion. I don't think I've ever been more excited in my entire life. Being reunited with your best friend after a long period of time feels amazing. Your entire body feels whole. Though I hate deployments in general, I will say that they definitely make your desire for them much stronger (physically, mentally, and emotionally).

Our summer in Virginia Beach has been relatively chill. I suppose the most exiting things we've done is gone skeet shooting twice, hung out with friends a good bit, and gone to see movies, or just have a chill movie night at home. Kyle has also done a good bit of training. There was about 3 weeks where he wasn't here during week during the month of July. Now, our weekends basically consist of going to bed early on Friday nights, maybe doing something fun on Saturday, and church Sunday. Week nights are pretty touch and go. It all depends on what time Kyle gets home at night. On a typical night, he doesn't get home until around 6, sometimes later. He eats dinner, and then ends up falling asleep on the couch. I'll have to wake him up to take a shower and go to bed. So, on average, we see each other for maybe 2 hours during the week. I feel like it's a real treat when he gets home around 4 and we get to actually see each other for 4-5 hours. 

I know this post sounds totally exhilarating and I'm sure it sounds like we have had a crappy summer. Do I wish we had more time together? Duh, what couple doesn't? But, the time we get together, no matter how little the time may be, is still great.

I constantly tell myself to think of the wives whose husbands are deployed right now who aren't getting to enjoy their summer together. So, I am very thankful for him being home. Unfortunately, deployment #2 will be occurring before the year is over with.  I can't be specific with dates, but it is right around the corner.

We will be coming home next week for about 12 days and we are SO excited to see family and friends! We have been talking about it basically since Kyle got back from Cuba.

So, to sum up this blog post....

We're basically really old grandparents who don't have lives. The end.

;)