Last weekend I had the opportunity to go home and visit family. My nephew was born about a month ago, and I have been itching to finally meet him since then. I chose to go before Thanksgiving so that Kyle and I could spend Thanksgiving together. He could have come home with me, but we really wouldn't have had much time at home. Plus, flights ain't cheap. We wanted to save our money for Christmas.
I flew home early Saturday morning and was at my brother's house in Temple by 9:30am. I finally got to meet sweet little Everett! He truly is a bundle of love. He just made me feel good...as strange as that sounds. It's magical how babies can make you feel, the emotions that emerge when you hold one that is close to you. Holding a new life in your hands makes you understand how precious life is and how often we take it for granted.
That day was awesome. But, as the day passed and I spent more time in my mom's home an unsettling feeling came over me. And, by that evening I was in tears. At first I couldn't explain why. I wasn't sure if I was just missing Kyle, or if it was emotions from seeing Everett. I slowly started to understand that it was a mixture of a lot of things. The main thing being that my home was no longer "my home". Virginia was my home, my place of residence. I no longer live in Carrollton. And, I'm not sure it fully hit me until I walked into my room that is no longer "my room". The walls are bare, the feeling of it being my sanctuary is gone, and the overall atmosphere has completely changed.
It broke me in two. To come "home" to a room that doesn't look or feel the same was really, really tough. Don't get me wrong, (mom, I know you're reading this) - I fully enjoyed the time I spent in Georgia. I loved being able to see my nephew, brother, and sister in law. Being able to go to a church that felt like "home" was awesome, getting to see the Christmas tree being put up was nice as well.
But, I felt a little more complete when I got to Virginia. No, it's not Georgia. It's not the south. It's not my mom's house. It's not my old room that I adored. I'm 10 hours from "home". But, I was with my husband and my sweet dog. And, that is home for me now. That is a hard acceptance that I have slowly made over the past few days.
After Kyle got home from work last night we talked about my visit and I told him how much I missed him. He teased me about it and said that I didn't miss him, yada, yada, yada. The usual hard time that Kyle always gives me when I'm trying to be sweet. I then teared up as we were talking and he asked what was wrong. I told him that he didn't realize how hard it was for me when I went home. He hugged me and we talked a little more about how everything went and he said, "Well, home is where the heart is, and I know our hearts are in Georgia, but for now, this is our home."
A huge piece of us will always be in Georgia... and no place that we ever live will ever feel like Georgia. But, we have to create a new normal... and that new normal is in Virginia.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Friday, November 15, 2013
Virginia.
It's been over 3 months since I took the time to sit down and write. At this moment, I'm sitting on our couch. "Moneyball" is on TV. Drake is sprawled out below my feet. And, Kyle is sound asleep on the loveseat. This is our Friday night and it suits me just fine.
In the past 3 months...actually, life was pretty normal until October 18th when Kyle called me and said he was coming home for the weekend to move me to Virginia.
Yeah. *cue the curve ball being thrown my way.*
We knew that they would be sending Kyle down to help move our belongings to Virginia before November. But, I was hoping for some sort of heads up - a phone call 2 weeks in advance, perhaps.
*Now, cue the Marine Corps laughing in my face.*
They literally told Kyle at 3:30pm October 18th (Friday) that he was clear to go home for the weekend to help me move. He flew home that day and I picked him up around 8pm that night. We had a "calm before the storm day" the next day (Saturday). Sunday after church, we picked up the moving truck and began packing things in. Luckily, I had already began boxing up most of our belongings back in September. Plus, we didn't have much. No furniture besides my bedroom furniture to go in the guest room and the dining room table & chairs I bought off Craigslist. Other than that, it was all boxes of stuff.
Monday was really, really, really difficult. I cried off and on throughout the day. Saying goodbye to my sister in law (who was pregnant at the time) was hard because I knew that I wouldn't be in town for the birth of my brother's first child. That was a hard realization to accept.
Tuesday morning at 5:15 my alarm clock went off and there was an immediate hole in my stomach from the agony I was about to endure. My mom and step dad woke up shortly after we did and I could see my mom's sad, red face. She had already been crying that morning. I held it together fairly well. But, when my mom hugged Kyle and told him, "You have to take care of her. I've taken care of her for 23 years... you promise me you'll take care of her." I had to walk away to avoid a breakdown. (Now I'm crying.)
Mom held it together after that. I didn't do a lot of hugging because I knew if I did I would lose it. I tried to keep a smile on my face and fight through the tears. I told her I would call her in a few hours and that I would see her soon. That was my way of not acknowledging what was happening.
Once we passed South Carolina and my itunes shuffle started playing sad songs, I teared up. But, I honestly blocked a lot of the sadness out. I was trying to not let myself feel, I guess. I had to drive Kyle's big truck, and I wanted to concentrate without having tears in my eyes.
I was so excited once we finally got to our apartment. Our first home together. Those first few days here were exhausting. We woke up early and went to bed late. Setting things up, furniture shopping, and little home improvement projects. I finally caught up on some sleep Thursday night, only to be woken by a phone call from my mom at 6am. I knew what it was.
Allison (my sister in law) was in labor.
I said hello, my mom said my name to me like she always does when I answer the phone. And I said, "Allison is in labor isn't she?" My mom then proceeded to tell me that her water broke the night before and they were at the hospital.
About an hour and a half later, my nephew was born. I was so excited and happy for my brother & Allison. So grateful that she and Everett were both healthy and all was well. But, my heart ached that I wasn't there to rejoice in his birth. My brother called me around 11/12 that morning/afternoon and we talked for about 30 minutes and it made me feel a lot better. I started getting picture after picture of him and each one felt and still feels like a present I open on Christmas morning.
A lot of people have asked how our move went. Overall, I'd say it went pretty well. The worst thing was not having furniture for 9 days, but we still had my bedroom furniture, so we had something to sleep on. Other than that, it went great.
Virginia sure ain't Georgia, but it reminds me a little of Georgia - the landscaping, the environment and the overall feel of our location in Virginia Beach. The people here aren't quite as friendly and "southernly" as Georgians are...and I miss that. I miss the southern accents. I can't tell you how many times my accent has been brought up in conversation.
As far as my employment/job search- I'm not going to get a teaching job, at least until next school year. There really weren't any openings once I moved up here. So, I went to care.com to see if any families were in need of a full time nanny. I met with a couple of families from care.com and they just didn't feel like a good fit, so I branched my search to sittercity.com and had some luck! I met with a family a little over a week ago and they offered me a full time nanny position (4 days a week- 34 hours a week) for their 1.5 year old boy. They're a sweet family from what I can tell. I start December 2nd! I'm really excited to finally pull my weight and contribute to our "household". Not to mention, it will be a way for me to get out of this apartment during the day. And, I have Fridays off...who doesn't love a 3 day weekend?
Kyle's job has been going well. This past week he has worked 12+ hour days. He wakes up at 5am to be at work at 6am. It's about a 20-25 minute drive from our apartment to the base in Norfolk. This week he hasn't been home before 6:30. He's been worn out every night.
We've really enjoyed cooking and goofing off together. We haven't done much exploring yet. We haven't really had a chance to because we've been so busy setting up our apartment and putting things where we want them, organizing closets and storage areas. This weekend will finally be a relaxing weekend that we don't have anything on our to-do list. Kyle mentioned taking Drake to the beach (which is literally 5 minutes from our place).
Be looking out for pictures of our apartment on Facebook and Instagram. I could go ahead and post pictures of what we have set up now, but I'm a little weird and want to wait until all pictures/wall decorations are hung up. :) It's exciting to have a place that you can call your own.
But, home will always be in Georgia.
In the past 3 months...actually, life was pretty normal until October 18th when Kyle called me and said he was coming home for the weekend to move me to Virginia.
Yeah. *cue the curve ball being thrown my way.*
We knew that they would be sending Kyle down to help move our belongings to Virginia before November. But, I was hoping for some sort of heads up - a phone call 2 weeks in advance, perhaps.
*Now, cue the Marine Corps laughing in my face.*
They literally told Kyle at 3:30pm October 18th (Friday) that he was clear to go home for the weekend to help me move. He flew home that day and I picked him up around 8pm that night. We had a "calm before the storm day" the next day (Saturday). Sunday after church, we picked up the moving truck and began packing things in. Luckily, I had already began boxing up most of our belongings back in September. Plus, we didn't have much. No furniture besides my bedroom furniture to go in the guest room and the dining room table & chairs I bought off Craigslist. Other than that, it was all boxes of stuff.
Monday was really, really, really difficult. I cried off and on throughout the day. Saying goodbye to my sister in law (who was pregnant at the time) was hard because I knew that I wouldn't be in town for the birth of my brother's first child. That was a hard realization to accept.
Tuesday morning at 5:15 my alarm clock went off and there was an immediate hole in my stomach from the agony I was about to endure. My mom and step dad woke up shortly after we did and I could see my mom's sad, red face. She had already been crying that morning. I held it together fairly well. But, when my mom hugged Kyle and told him, "You have to take care of her. I've taken care of her for 23 years... you promise me you'll take care of her." I had to walk away to avoid a breakdown. (Now I'm crying.)
Mom held it together after that. I didn't do a lot of hugging because I knew if I did I would lose it. I tried to keep a smile on my face and fight through the tears. I told her I would call her in a few hours and that I would see her soon. That was my way of not acknowledging what was happening.
Once we passed South Carolina and my itunes shuffle started playing sad songs, I teared up. But, I honestly blocked a lot of the sadness out. I was trying to not let myself feel, I guess. I had to drive Kyle's big truck, and I wanted to concentrate without having tears in my eyes.
I was so excited once we finally got to our apartment. Our first home together. Those first few days here were exhausting. We woke up early and went to bed late. Setting things up, furniture shopping, and little home improvement projects. I finally caught up on some sleep Thursday night, only to be woken by a phone call from my mom at 6am. I knew what it was.
Allison (my sister in law) was in labor.
I said hello, my mom said my name to me like she always does when I answer the phone. And I said, "Allison is in labor isn't she?" My mom then proceeded to tell me that her water broke the night before and they were at the hospital.
About an hour and a half later, my nephew was born. I was so excited and happy for my brother & Allison. So grateful that she and Everett were both healthy and all was well. But, my heart ached that I wasn't there to rejoice in his birth. My brother called me around 11/12 that morning/afternoon and we talked for about 30 minutes and it made me feel a lot better. I started getting picture after picture of him and each one felt and still feels like a present I open on Christmas morning.
A lot of people have asked how our move went. Overall, I'd say it went pretty well. The worst thing was not having furniture for 9 days, but we still had my bedroom furniture, so we had something to sleep on. Other than that, it went great.
Virginia sure ain't Georgia, but it reminds me a little of Georgia - the landscaping, the environment and the overall feel of our location in Virginia Beach. The people here aren't quite as friendly and "southernly" as Georgians are...and I miss that. I miss the southern accents. I can't tell you how many times my accent has been brought up in conversation.
As far as my employment/job search- I'm not going to get a teaching job, at least until next school year. There really weren't any openings once I moved up here. So, I went to care.com to see if any families were in need of a full time nanny. I met with a couple of families from care.com and they just didn't feel like a good fit, so I branched my search to sittercity.com and had some luck! I met with a family a little over a week ago and they offered me a full time nanny position (4 days a week- 34 hours a week) for their 1.5 year old boy. They're a sweet family from what I can tell. I start December 2nd! I'm really excited to finally pull my weight and contribute to our "household". Not to mention, it will be a way for me to get out of this apartment during the day. And, I have Fridays off...who doesn't love a 3 day weekend?
Kyle's job has been going well. This past week he has worked 12+ hour days. He wakes up at 5am to be at work at 6am. It's about a 20-25 minute drive from our apartment to the base in Norfolk. This week he hasn't been home before 6:30. He's been worn out every night.
We've really enjoyed cooking and goofing off together. We haven't done much exploring yet. We haven't really had a chance to because we've been so busy setting up our apartment and putting things where we want them, organizing closets and storage areas. This weekend will finally be a relaxing weekend that we don't have anything on our to-do list. Kyle mentioned taking Drake to the beach (which is literally 5 minutes from our place).
Be looking out for pictures of our apartment on Facebook and Instagram. I could go ahead and post pictures of what we have set up now, but I'm a little weird and want to wait until all pictures/wall decorations are hung up. :) It's exciting to have a place that you can call your own.
But, home will always be in Georgia.
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