Home.

Last weekend I had the opportunity to go home and visit family. My nephew was born about a month ago, and I have been itching to finally meet him since then. I chose to go before Thanksgiving so that Kyle and I could spend Thanksgiving together. He could have come home with me, but we really wouldn't have had much time at home. Plus, flights ain't cheap. We wanted to save our money for Christmas.

I flew home early Saturday morning and was at my brother's house in Temple by 9:30am. I finally got to meet sweet little Everett! He truly is a bundle of love. He just made me feel good...as strange as that sounds. It's magical how babies can make you feel, the emotions that emerge when you hold one that is close to you. Holding a new life in your hands makes you understand how precious life is and how often we take it for granted.

That day was awesome. But, as the day passed and I spent more time in my mom's home an unsettling feeling came over me. And, by that evening I was in tears. At first I couldn't explain why. I wasn't sure if I was just missing Kyle, or if it was emotions from seeing Everett. I slowly started to understand that it was a mixture of a lot of things. The main thing being that my home was no longer "my home". Virginia was my home, my place of residence. I no longer live in Carrollton. And, I'm not sure it fully hit me until I walked into my room that is no longer "my room". The walls are bare, the feeling of it being my sanctuary is gone, and the overall atmosphere has completely changed.

It broke me in two. To come "home" to a room that doesn't look or feel the same was really, really tough. Don't get me wrong, (mom, I know you're reading this) - I fully enjoyed the time I spent in Georgia. I loved being able to see my nephew, brother, and sister in law. Being able to go to a church that felt like "home" was awesome, getting to see the Christmas tree being put up was nice as well.

But, I felt a little more complete when I got to Virginia. No, it's not Georgia. It's not the south. It's not my mom's house. It's not my old room that I adored. I'm 10 hours from "home". But, I was with my husband and my sweet dog. And, that is home for me now. That is a hard acceptance that I have slowly made over the past few days.

After Kyle got home from work last night we talked about my visit and I told him how much I missed him. He teased me about it and said that I didn't miss him, yada, yada, yada. The usual hard time that Kyle always gives me when I'm trying to be sweet. I then teared up as we were talking and he asked what was wrong. I told him that he didn't realize how hard it was for me when I went home. He hugged me and we talked a little more about how everything went and he said, "Well, home is where the heart is, and I know our hearts are in Georgia, but for now, this is our home."

A huge piece of us will always be in Georgia... and no place that we ever live will ever feel like Georgia. But, we have to create a new normal... and that new normal is in Virginia.