Fair Weather Friends

Ever heard the term, "Fair Weather Fans"? Fans that only root for a team when they're on a winning streak? What about the term, "Fair Weather Friends"? I just sort of made it up. I'm sure you can put two and two together to figure out what that term means.

I'm not one to ask for sympathy from people. I don't like others to feel sorry for me and I certainly don't want anyone doing anything for me out of pity or guilt. But, ever since Kyle left for basic training, I almost feel invisible to some people of my friends.

Now, I normally wouldn't waste my breath letting others know if I'm upset with them, or if they hurt my feelings. When I was 16-19? Yeah, I would've let them know. But, after I started dating Kyle I felt like my life grew a greater purpose. To love someone unconditionally. So, Kyle became my best friend. And I like love it that way. That's how it should be... best friends with the one you plan to spend the rest of your life with, to have children with, to grow old with. Kyle is the greatest friend I could ask for (besides my mom and brother). Many couples don't view their significant other as a best friend, so I feel pretty lucky that mine and Kyle's connection goes beyond that of romance, we love spending time together... like best friends do. And that is what makes me love him.

Sorry, I get distracted when I talk about Kyle. :) Back to the "fair weather friends" deal. Certain friends have checked in. Friends I graduated college with. And I appreciate them. But, others haven't asked me how I am, haven't asked how Kyle is doing, nothing. Some will "like" my Facebook or Instagram posts, even put a little comment here and there. But, just because they click a button on a computer or their phone that sends a notification to me to let me know they "liked" something, does not make them a friend. Picking up a phone and giving me a call or shooting me a text, or even messaging me on Facebook to chat makes them a friend.

I've dealt with friends coming and going my entire life. It's how girls are--they're catty, sensitive, and naturally born gossipers (whether we want to admit it or not). I think I assumed as I got older that friendships would come and stay. But, most of them don't.

Some of you are probably saying, "Well, a friendship works two ways. You have to put forth effort too." I do. I text them, ask how they're doing, what's new in their life. But, as far as them reciprocating the questions and asking me... really asking me how I'm doing. It rarely happens.

I've accepted it. I'm 22 going on 23 and Kyle will be 26 in 3 months. We're growing up and moving on. Mentally, emotionally, and physically. Who knows where we will be this time next year? Maybe these fair weather friends are helping me out by not acting concerned about me or Kyle. Whatever the case, friends... they come and they go.

4 down... 8 to go

I really can't begin to tell you how excited I am that I can say a month has passed since Kyle left! It is such a nice feeling. December actually went by fairly fast, with the holidays and such. I just hope January and February do the same. I haven't really had a meltdown since Christmas. I was lonely on New Years Eve, but it didn't get to me too much. I guess there is something about Christmas and family that makes you really want your significant other there--and when they're not, well, it just plain sucks. 

I want to explain something. Some people have asked me how I am doing and I almost always say, "I'm doing alright for the most part." That's the best answer I can give. I am doing alright, surprisingly. I do have moments that I long for Kyle's hug or hand in mine, to hear his laugh, to be driving down the road in my car and look over to see him in the passenger seat... that's what "for the most part" means. Every time I answer someone, they always seem to say, "Girl, I don't know how you do it." Or, "You're such a strong person." Or, "I know I couldn't do that." Or, "I'd be an emotional wreck."

It hit me a couple of nights ago. I caught myself asking, "Well, how come I can do this? Where does this so called 'strength' come from? Why am I not a wreck?" I think the Lord slapped me across my head because I immediately knew why I am able to be so 'strong'. 

I have a strong sense of security in my relationship with Kyle. I trust him with my entire life. I don't have to be with him every single day. Would I like to be? Well, sure... absolutely. But, I think the difference between our relationship and other people's relationships is that our love and faith in our love goes beyond the surface. It goes to another level that I cannot explain. I can't hear Kyle's voice, I can't see his sweet face, but I know that he loves me. Not because he tells me in his letters, because Lord knows we can tell someone we love them all day long and not show it one time. I think it's because we share a bond that neither of us have shared with anyone else before. I can feel Kyle's love every day. In everything I do. That may sound corny, but it's true. I know he thinks of me, I know he misses me, I know he wishes he was home. I just know. 

So, why can I be so strong? Because I don't need my fiance to constantly tell me how beautiful I am, to whisper sweet nothings in my ear, or to remind me every 10 minutes in a text message that he loves me. I don't need his physical touch to feel confident in our relationship. I know on March 7th when I jump into Kyle's arms for the first time in 3 months we will love each other even more than before he left. Our relationship will have tested the trial of trials and we will overcome it beautifully.