4 down... 8 to go

I really can't begin to tell you how excited I am that I can say a month has passed since Kyle left! It is such a nice feeling. December actually went by fairly fast, with the holidays and such. I just hope January and February do the same. I haven't really had a meltdown since Christmas. I was lonely on New Years Eve, but it didn't get to me too much. I guess there is something about Christmas and family that makes you really want your significant other there--and when they're not, well, it just plain sucks. 

I want to explain something. Some people have asked me how I am doing and I almost always say, "I'm doing alright for the most part." That's the best answer I can give. I am doing alright, surprisingly. I do have moments that I long for Kyle's hug or hand in mine, to hear his laugh, to be driving down the road in my car and look over to see him in the passenger seat... that's what "for the most part" means. Every time I answer someone, they always seem to say, "Girl, I don't know how you do it." Or, "You're such a strong person." Or, "I know I couldn't do that." Or, "I'd be an emotional wreck."

It hit me a couple of nights ago. I caught myself asking, "Well, how come I can do this? Where does this so called 'strength' come from? Why am I not a wreck?" I think the Lord slapped me across my head because I immediately knew why I am able to be so 'strong'. 

I have a strong sense of security in my relationship with Kyle. I trust him with my entire life. I don't have to be with him every single day. Would I like to be? Well, sure... absolutely. But, I think the difference between our relationship and other people's relationships is that our love and faith in our love goes beyond the surface. It goes to another level that I cannot explain. I can't hear Kyle's voice, I can't see his sweet face, but I know that he loves me. Not because he tells me in his letters, because Lord knows we can tell someone we love them all day long and not show it one time. I think it's because we share a bond that neither of us have shared with anyone else before. I can feel Kyle's love every day. In everything I do. That may sound corny, but it's true. I know he thinks of me, I know he misses me, I know he wishes he was home. I just know. 

So, why can I be so strong? Because I don't need my fiance to constantly tell me how beautiful I am, to whisper sweet nothings in my ear, or to remind me every 10 minutes in a text message that he loves me. I don't need his physical touch to feel confident in our relationship. I know on March 7th when I jump into Kyle's arms for the first time in 3 months we will love each other even more than before he left. Our relationship will have tested the trial of trials and we will overcome it beautifully.