I started following a series of devotions at the beginning of this year. I found it through Instagram. It's called "She Reads Truth". It has a specific focus on women, hence the "she" part. :) The creators send out a mass email of a new devotion every day. It's a short passage that would take the average reader about 5 minutes to read, if that. I normally read it as soon as I get to work, while the little babies are still calm and hanging out in their swings (I nanny twins that are 4 months old). It's a good time for me to read it because my mood is still calm, my head is clear, and my heart is open to whatever God's wants to show me. It's been pretty great. Some days I have found the devotion to hit me like a ton of bricks, and other days, not so much. I like that they're thought provoking and insightful. They have the perfect amount of depth and lightness all in one. I really enjoy them.
I encourage you (women) to check it out. Go to shereadstruth.com, click subscribe on the left side of the page, enter your email, and voila!
I don't participate in Lent, and don't really ever plan to. But, the creators of She Reads Truth came up with a new devotion plan for Lent. The new plan is to have all of the readers of SRT create their own devotion every Friday based on a specific bible verse assigned by the SRT creators/writers. Write the devotion either on paper, on a blog, on Facebook, etc. and then share it with the entire SRT community on their website by using the hashtags, #shereadstruth and #shesharestruth. So, there will be hundreds of reflections based on 1 bible verse. A different verse every week...how cool! So, every Friday until Easter, I plan to write a devotion according to she reads truth. Bare with me...when it comes to the Bible, I can become scattered with my thoughts.
This Friday, the focus is Psalm 130.
"Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord; Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy. If you, Lord, kept a record of sins, Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve you. I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope. I wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning. Israel, put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption. He himself will redeem Israel from all their sins." (Psalm 130:1-8 NIVUK)
When I pulled up my Bible app on my phone and read this, the first verse immediately grabbed me. "Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord." I picture someone crying out of desperation. Eager to hear God's voice in their time of need. And I think, have I ever been that desperate? That eager for God to hear my prayer? Yes, I have.
The most recent time was 3 weeks ago...the day Kyle left for deployment. I came home after saying goodbye to Kyle and basically slept the whole day. I had been up since 3am with Kyle, preparing for him to leave, so I was exhausted. Once I woke up, I made my way to the kitchen, and before I even got there I basically threw my body on to the dining room floor and began to sob. I did this for about 15 minutes, during which I mumbled, "I want my baby back...bring my husband back....I don't want to do this. I cannot do this." I rubbed Drake's head... poor thing probably thought I was having a heart attack by the way I was acting. I was pretty pathetic. I had absolutely no idea how I was going to do life. My family is 600 miles away, I had no friends at that point, and my husband had just left for 3 months. Through an ugly cry and a broken voice, I finally said, "Jesus, I cannot do this! I need your help. I'm giving this to you. You have to pull me through this." And I meant every. single. word. After I frantically yelled that up to the ceiling of my apartment, I immediately felt this strange sense of peace, of calmness come over me. And I was ok. Not great, but ok. The tears had stopped, the anxiety and helplessness I felt had washed away. I pulled myself off the floor, wiped the tears from my eyes, and carried on.
This verse takes me back to the last moment that I truly cried out to Jesus...the last time I was completely desperate to hear his voice, or to feel like he was at least listening. I truly believe that sense of peace that I felt was Christ himself. I cannot say that I felt a hand on my shoulder, or a whisper in my ear, but the feeling I had inside was one I will never forget.
This passage also reminds me of a song my childhood church used to sing. The chorus went like this: "My hope is You. Show me Your ways. Guide me in truth, all of my days. My hope is You." How true are these words and the words in Psalm 130 to a Christian's heart? Isn't that what we as Christ followers strive for? To be guided by His word and to walk in the light with Him? That's what I strive for, anyway. Though, I may not always act like it through my actions or my words, in my heart, that is ultimately what I hope for.
I think this passage has a lot to do with putting your hope in Him...the only true One. Our Cornerstone, our Almighty, the King. We wait to hear God's voice speak to us and guide us through difficult times and even through easy times. I'm so thankful that I have God's everlasting promise of hope...even through the daily sins that I commit, His forgiveness withstands all of it, and He is there. Thank goodness, He is there.
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