A walk in my shoes

I've know I've only been a "Marine Wife" for almost 3 months now, so I know what I am about to type is going to cause some eye rolling. Oh well.

I have been on this military journey with Kyle since February of 2012. He signed his enlistment papers July 13, 2012 and left for Basic Training December 10, 2012. Since December 10, 2012, I have seen my now husband probably a total of 14 days- counting the 2 days we saw him for basic training graduation, the 10 days he was home for leave, and the 1 1/2 days I saw him last month when I went to visit him in North Carolina. Almost 6 months have passed and I've seen him a total of 14 days.

So, though I've only been a "Marine Wife" for 3 months, I know a thing or two about separation from a loved one.

Here are a few things that become that much more special when your better half is away: 

*Phone calls: when Kyle's picture comes up on my phone, no matter if I just talked to him 5 minutes prior, I get excited. Hearing his voice is all I have. It's the best connection we have. The duration of the calls may only be 2 minutes, or they could be a long, good talk that lasts 30 minutes. Nevertheless, each call is vital to our daily routine. I don't feel like my day has ended well if I haven't spoken with him.

*Texts: little texts throughout the day can instantly change my entire mood for the day. I'll never forget the first time Kyle was able to text me during the day. I had my phone in my hand, sitting on the couch and my text tone went off. I looked down and it said, "Kyle ICE" (ICE meaning, "in case of emergency"....it's always good to be proactive and let emergency personnel know who to contact). I was immediately overwhelmed with excitement. I quickly text him back, because I knew that he was only able to cut his phone off for maybe 1 minute to send me that text, but I wanted him to get one from me, too.

*Pictures/Facetime: I'll text Kyle sometimes and tell him to send me a picture of him, and when asks why (he hates taking pictures) I will say, "Because I want one, duh." I like to see him every now and then, to know he is okay, even though he is texting/calling me, it's nice to actually see him. I try to send him a picture every day, but sometimes the pictures feel like a broken record: picture of me smiling, picture of Drake doing something stupid, picture of me making Drake take a picture with me, picture of something I'm eating, etc. Facetime is one of the best inventions ever. It's just like Skype, but for the iPhone. Unfortunately, we're not able to Facetime every day because it requires you to be conntected to wifi, and 9 times out of 10, Kyle isn't connected to wifi. So, when we are able to Facetime, it's AWESOME.

Here are some things that really suck about being a military wife:

*Not ever really knowing if Kyle is OK: Yeah, he'll send me a good morning text every morning, and typically call me at night for a few minutes. But, throughout the day, I have no idea what he does, where he is, how to get in touch with him. Nothing. I envy those of you who get to check in with your better half throughout the day to just say, "Hey!"

*Not being able to make a schedule: Throw control out the window. If you're OCD and need to always be in charge of your life. You couldn't be a military spouse. Well, you could... but you'd have to let go of A LOT of things in your life. We're never in control of our future. We never know when we'll see each other again or where he is going next. Ever. I'm sure you could say, "Yeah, after I get off work I'm going to go by the grocery store and pick up some things to make dinner. So, I should be home by about 5:30. Will you be home when I get there?" You'll probably get a response like, "Yeah, honey. I'll be there." Even once Kyle is stationed somewhere and I'm with him... I will probably never know when he will be home. There will probably be days when he won't even know if he'll be coming home.

*Being lonely: Lonesomeness haunts me sometimes. It lingers over me like a shadow. It hurts. I find myself saying, "I wish...." a lot. I wish I was with Kyle. I wish Kyle was here. I wish Kyle had our own place. I wish Kyle weren't so far away. Loneliness wouldn't be so tough if I knew when I would see Kyle again. It would give me a count down- something to look forward to.

Being a military newlywed is probably one of the hardest things I've ever done. Since Kyle and I got married, we've seen each other a total of 6 days. It's been excruciatingly difficult for both of us to be away from each other. I'd give anything if I could just spend one day out of the month with Kyle.

So, the next time you catch yourself thinking, "Gosh, I wish I just had one day to myself." Think about the military wives/husbands who spend about 9 months to a year by themselves because their spouse is deployed overseas. Never take the love you have for your better half for granted. Never skip out on a chance to hold their hand, put your arm around them, kiss them, hug them, etc. There are so many people in the world who would give up everything they had in order to just spend a few hours with their husband/wife. Be grateful - and always count your blessings.